The main reason for the discontent is with "going to church". I left Westside because I wasn't getting anything. I tried to give all I could for a few months and everytime I just got more and more discouraged (except for the 3-4 grade class which kept me alive- I miss you guys). People, topics, leaders, class discussions that were so far from what the Bible says because they're just saying church of christ stuff instead of listening to the text...
So I came here, hoping for something different. Besides there being no one in my situation (which there wasn't really at Westside either, but), it's soooo hard to get in with the church of christ clique (unless of course you're a minister or wife thereof, which then everyone loves you immediately- why don't people do that with everyone? not just people that work there?).
I'm not trying to blame all this on everyone else, I know I'm part of the church too, but I don't even like being around God's people right now b/c I only get discouraged- I guess that makes it me somehow. I know I'm not the fun one, the spiritual leader, the cool one, the nice one, or the anything great one, but I am one. I'm trying. I meet all the new people, invite them to get involved, get involved in the community, outreach, visit people... So what am I doing wrong? Why is "going to church" so discouraging? I don't even want to go anymore- or maybe even go back to Oklaha-freaking-homa where there was a good group of people that were encouraging and we grew together. The only thing I've looked forward to spiritually lately has been our girls bible studies which ended (I loved them), teaching the Wed night class, and singing- which has only happened once I think in the last year.
So, the congregation here seems ok so far. I haven't been much (because of going to other places and travelling a lot) but I feel like there is potential- I just have to stick out the hard part of actually going when I don't feel like it.
1 comment:
hey,
I know what you mean about trying to fit into a new church...it's so hard to get to know people and find a group. maybe being introverts makes it more challenging? when I went to church in San Marcos, everyone already had their own groups and friends, and they grew up there, and it was just weird. I think it's a terrific point that we need to be just as welcoming to new people as if they were a new minister or secretary or whatever...that is something I need to work on personally is just trying to talk to people. We are having a gospel meeting and Wes and Holly are staying with us, so that's something I will ask him about (but I will leave you anonymous of course)
one more thing, I think as single women, we don't get the...respect? maybe that women who are married get as far as being involved. I know you and Amy were a great time in trying to plan things and get people involved, but I sensed that you and Amy were both frustrated but didn't really realize until now when I look back. sorry if I contributed to the frustration, being committed and involved in anything on a consistent basis is difficult for me, it's probably the thing I struggle with the most. I feel sad that you weren't happy at Westside but I understand why.
ONE more thing and then i will stop talking :)
I remember one night when you asked Mike about the singing at worship services in class, and you had a good point about it saying this and this and then it mentions make music in your heart and we're supposed to take that to mean don't use instruments in worship? and Mike didn't really give you a good answer, or one that seemed clear to me or take the time to really get into it. I wish he would have mentioned that no Christian church used instruments until the 7th century when pope Vitalian introduced them into the Catholic church. to me that would have made sense, and wouldn't have been such a "church of Christ"-y answer. Is that of any help?
sorry this post was so long, I appreciate your honesty in your blogs.
lylas
Aimee
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